Dissociation with Writing
Hey guys. It's been awhile. Today I wanted to talk about something that I've been having some issues with lately. Maybe you can relate? This is dissociation with writing. I'm afraid I don't have any current tips on how to beat this, because I am still working through it myself.
So, in the sense that I'm using, dissociation with writing is kind of a distancing of yourself from the craft.
-You don't write in a long time, maybe you purposely avoid it.
- Maybe you set writing aside for a little bit meaning to come back and never do.
- Maybe it will even begin to feel like this craft isn't yours anymore.
Here was my process:
-Write write write write write
-Shelve a project
-Mean to come back to writing
-Don't write in months
-Subconsciously avoids writing
-Sits down and tries to write but nothing happens
-Doubts begin to creep in despite the passion for the craft
Sound familiar?
Yeah.
Distancing
Sometimes it is necessary to take a step back from a craft even if you are passionate about it. Maybe you don't always mean to abandon it. Sometimes external forces step in, like lifestyle changes for example. But distancing can become quite a sad and strange experience to go through.
Just because you've become distanced doesn't mean you stop getting ideas. I've had a regular flow of ideas from when I put my previous novel down last year even though I hadn't worked on a novel in nearly eight months. So you still get the spark and idea but little will or ability to act on it. Maybe it's an ego thing. I'm not really sure.
Avoiding Writing
This is more often than not a subconscious thing. We wouldn't sit down and tell ourselves, "I am purposely going to avoid writing for as long as humanely possible." Never. To us writers, that idea is nothing short of appalling. But subconsciously, we might shy away from the document on our computer screen, or an empty notebook page. Maybe even scared of seeing a blinking cursor or a ballpoint pen with no words coming out.
Pretty soon we look up and it turns out that we haven't written a word in months.
Trying to get back in touch
So after avoiding writing for so long, perhaps we suddenly feel like "Hey, I want to write." But for me at least, I had already distanced myself and wasn't really coming back. I wanted to write. I felt inspired to write, but maybe subconsciously I was still distanced from it. I kinda felt like staring at a notebook through a window in a different building and trying to write on that notebook.
Doesn't really work.
So you sit down to write, trying to get back in touch, but (initially at least) nothing happens. Literally nothing. Maybe you even sit there for hours like I did a few days ago, the pen balanced between middle finger and thumb, just staring. Feeling like you don't belong there.
Doubts
I think throughout this whole process, you never really lose a passion for writing. It's still there. But despite the survival of the passion, doubts about it begin to seep in nonetheless.
Thoughts like,
-Maybe I am not meant to be a writer
-Maybe this craft is not my place
-I don't belong here
-I don't deserve to write, and I am making writing suffer by attempting it
-I was never supposed to be a storyteller
-All the work I have ever put into this craft was a waste of time. Waste of emotion, thoughts, and inspiration.
None of this is true, but I think to many of us, the thought of facing these doubts is terrifying. In part because the passion is still alive. I'm not sure how the passion to write and the doubt of never meaning to write can exist at the same time, but they do and it's a heck of a common thing too.
This was my personal experience with the process of dissociation with my writing. Like you've lost touch or that you're just too far away to do something.
Maybe this is a bump that all writers are destined to go through eventually? Especially since writing is a craft so tightly tied to the heart.
The Cause?
I'm not quite sure what the exact cause of dissociation is. I just understand where my process starts.
Maybe it's burnout that causes it? Maybe it's just a natural part in the evolution of a writer. Maybe it's something we're all bound to struggle through and then come out of with a better understanding of our craft. Maybe it's an ego thing--allied with perfectionism, or perhaps we're just afraid.
Like I said at the beginning of the article, I don't have any current tips on how to beat this. I'm only beginning to recognize and understand this process myself and I'm not quite sure how to get out yet. As far as I can see, we should just keep pushing ourselves and keep writing, even if we feel far away.
All in all, it's just a very surreal and strange experience, that I can't quite pinpoint. If you've had it I'm sure you know.
Anyhow, that's all for today folks! Just a little topic that's been on my mind.
If you can relate to this in any way or have any tips to coming out of dissociation with writing, please please leave a comment. I'd absolutely love to hear it all!
Dalriana
Let's Chat!
1. Have you ever experienced dissociation from writing?
2. If you have what did your process look like?
3. Do you have any tips for coming back from dissociation?
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| Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash |
-You don't write in a long time, maybe you purposely avoid it.
- Maybe you set writing aside for a little bit meaning to come back and never do.
- Maybe it will even begin to feel like this craft isn't yours anymore.
Here was my process:
-Write write write write write
-Shelve a project
-Mean to come back to writing
-Don't write in months
-Subconsciously avoids writing
-Sits down and tries to write but nothing happens
-Doubts begin to creep in despite the passion for the craft
Sound familiar?
Yeah.
Distancing
Sometimes it is necessary to take a step back from a craft even if you are passionate about it. Maybe you don't always mean to abandon it. Sometimes external forces step in, like lifestyle changes for example. But distancing can become quite a sad and strange experience to go through.
Just because you've become distanced doesn't mean you stop getting ideas. I've had a regular flow of ideas from when I put my previous novel down last year even though I hadn't worked on a novel in nearly eight months. So you still get the spark and idea but little will or ability to act on it. Maybe it's an ego thing. I'm not really sure.
Avoiding Writing
This is more often than not a subconscious thing. We wouldn't sit down and tell ourselves, "I am purposely going to avoid writing for as long as humanely possible." Never. To us writers, that idea is nothing short of appalling. But subconsciously, we might shy away from the document on our computer screen, or an empty notebook page. Maybe even scared of seeing a blinking cursor or a ballpoint pen with no words coming out.
Pretty soon we look up and it turns out that we haven't written a word in months.
Trying to get back in touch
So after avoiding writing for so long, perhaps we suddenly feel like "Hey, I want to write." But for me at least, I had already distanced myself and wasn't really coming back. I wanted to write. I felt inspired to write, but maybe subconsciously I was still distanced from it. I kinda felt like staring at a notebook through a window in a different building and trying to write on that notebook.
Doesn't really work.
So you sit down to write, trying to get back in touch, but (initially at least) nothing happens. Literally nothing. Maybe you even sit there for hours like I did a few days ago, the pen balanced between middle finger and thumb, just staring. Feeling like you don't belong there.
Doubts
I think throughout this whole process, you never really lose a passion for writing. It's still there. But despite the survival of the passion, doubts about it begin to seep in nonetheless.
Thoughts like,
-Maybe I am not meant to be a writer
-Maybe this craft is not my place
-I don't belong here
-I don't deserve to write, and I am making writing suffer by attempting it
-I was never supposed to be a storyteller
-All the work I have ever put into this craft was a waste of time. Waste of emotion, thoughts, and inspiration.
None of this is true, but I think to many of us, the thought of facing these doubts is terrifying. In part because the passion is still alive. I'm not sure how the passion to write and the doubt of never meaning to write can exist at the same time, but they do and it's a heck of a common thing too.
This was my personal experience with the process of dissociation with my writing. Like you've lost touch or that you're just too far away to do something.
Maybe this is a bump that all writers are destined to go through eventually? Especially since writing is a craft so tightly tied to the heart.
The Cause?
I'm not quite sure what the exact cause of dissociation is. I just understand where my process starts.
Maybe it's burnout that causes it? Maybe it's just a natural part in the evolution of a writer. Maybe it's something we're all bound to struggle through and then come out of with a better understanding of our craft. Maybe it's an ego thing--allied with perfectionism, or perhaps we're just afraid.
Like I said at the beginning of the article, I don't have any current tips on how to beat this. I'm only beginning to recognize and understand this process myself and I'm not quite sure how to get out yet. As far as I can see, we should just keep pushing ourselves and keep writing, even if we feel far away.
All in all, it's just a very surreal and strange experience, that I can't quite pinpoint. If you've had it I'm sure you know.
Anyhow, that's all for today folks! Just a little topic that's been on my mind.
If you can relate to this in any way or have any tips to coming out of dissociation with writing, please please leave a comment. I'd absolutely love to hear it all!
Dalriana
Let's Chat!
1. Have you ever experienced dissociation from writing?
2. If you have what did your process look like?
3. Do you have any tips for coming back from dissociation?
omgosh I have the exact. same. problem. I can definitely relate, I literally feel the exact same way whenever I even think of writing. I will sometimes just go and start to write in my book, then I tend to get back in writing mood. Then after I'm done writing I think, "That was pretty easy. Next time I write it should be easier now!" But then when I go back to write again my emotion for writing is like, gone. So I end up not writing again for quite a while. That's how's it's been going for a while for me. I think maybe I've just been avoiding it? Like I think if I actually sat down and thought about what I need to re-write and fix in my current book, then perhaps I could get back into really re-drawing out my passion for writing. I'm still not quite sure yet, but I think that would help at least.
ReplyDeleteYes exactly! It's so great to see someone else is experiencing this too. Isn't it weird? It's just such a strange position to be in. I think you might be right. That does sound like it would help a bit. How long has it been lasting for you, by the way?
ReplyDeleteYeah it is very weird. It's been some months, maybe since Christmas? It's weird because it's like an off and on type thing for (with on only being for a short time).
DeleteI definitely relate!
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I do have one tip and it sounds dumb but it works. Find an area with no distractions (ie: phone, siblings, background noise), Get out a pencil(or pen whatever is your preference, just not laptop) and a single(two if you're feeling risky) sheet of paper, then set a timer for five to ten minutes(nothing long) and just write. Not a story, not a novel, just whatever comes to mind even if its just "I have nothing to write, I can't think of anything to write". Don't worry about punctuation or grammar.
I do this whenever I feel dissociated with writing, because personally that stems from a fear of not writing well. That's why this little exercise works for me, because its not about writing well, its just about writing something. I've actually come up with some fun ideas from doing this too.
Oh wow, that's an interesting tip! It does sound like it would be helpful to drop the fear of writing poorly. Also, I love that line there "it's not about writing well, it's about writing something." It read just beautifully. ;)
DeleteThanks for the advice! I think I'll try it out.
Oh yeah that’s good advice! I think I’ll try that as well. 😄
Delete