Tips on Writing Romance
So. Romance.To be honest, this is not my strong point. However, I got quite a few requests from people to put up a post like this. So these are just going to be my raw thoughts on fictional romances.
*This was a commissioned post*
I've never had a particular affinity to writing them, and I sort of despise romance novels. Writing friendships? Oooh yeah, nailed it. Magic? Yes. Gore? HECK YES. But.....romance. Igh.
However, when I get the luxury of reading a well-written fictional romance...Let the squealing begin.
The gist is, it's not easy to nail. Not in fiction, not in film and definitely not in real life. But here are some tips that will hopefully point you on the right track.
Tips
(* do not's: 1-6, do's: 7-12*)
1. DO NOT: THE DOORMAT: It doesn't really make for a good romance. Either person being a doormat isn't necessarily 'cute' or 'sweet' or anything. It turns into something where the doormat person is a wimp who doesn't have enough guts to stand up for themselves and portrays the other person as arrogant and the whole thing is obnoxious.
2. DO NOT: SWEET NAIVE GIRL TRANSFORMS ARROGANT JERK. I'm not saying arrogant jerks can't be turned into sweet cinnamon rolls or something--but this is honestly an overused cliche that becomes ridiculously predictable. I know this one is a little overused as well, but if we're going to have someone transforming an arrogant jerk, I'd rather it be someone who is intelligent with a good sense of self worth then someone who is sickeningly sweet and naive and cries every 0.5 seconds.
3. DO NOT: THE SEX SCENE. IIiiiuuuuughhh....CANNOT EXPLAIN HOW MUCH I DESPISE THIS ONE. Really lame and really unnecessary in my opinion. Yeah, I get there are some whacks out there who like reading/writing them, but I seriously believe it does not belong in a novel, especially when the genre is not specifically romance. It also just kind of ruins the idea of this good healthy romance when it's blatantly stated out there for everyone to see.
4. DO NOT: THE KISS-ADDICT. This is the annoying type of romance where they're kissing or whatever every other scene they have together. If you're trying to develop a relationship in your fiction story, it needs to be good enough that it's still loveable even if they aren't clinging to each other constantly. IF THE RELATIONSHIP IS NOT INTERESTING WITHOUT THE KISSING, THEN IT'S JUST PLAIN UNINTERESTING.
5. DO NOT: THE PHYSICALLY INCLINED. This is when you get the sense the the couple are only drawn to each other because of physical appearance. Literally nothing else substantial except that (*ahem* Romeo and Juliet...). I mean, yeah, appearance is important and an attraction on that level is pretty necessary too. BUT THERE NEEDS TO BE SOMETHING ELSE AS WELL. I don't want to hear about some guy's abs or some girl's shoulders over and Over and OVER.
6. DO NOT: ROMANTIC DIALOGUE PROMPTS: "You look cute when you're fighting", "Can't tell if I wanna slap you or kiss you" etc. Those icky, blushy overused love lines. I see them all over the place and the more I see them the cheesier they get. If you want to nail a good, unique romance, you're gonna want the dialogue to match that. You'd be better off brainstorming the scene than picking up something from a dialogue prompt. They're just not original.
7. DO: NON-SEXUAL FORMS OF INTIMACY. I'm not anti-sex or something, but I really think there's too much pressure in fiction to shoehorn in some sort of super sexy aspect or something. Call me old-school, but I still really enjoy reading about when people hug, hold hands, give genuine compliments, touch foreheads, have long talks, play games, one accidentally falling asleep on the other's shoulder, etc. If you include all this, it'll just make the first kiss THAT MUCH more exciting.
8. DO: CHIVALRY. TRUST ME. THIS NEEDS TO COMEBACK. As far as I'm concerned, this is not a cliche. Chivalry is still important--not just in romance but just in general. Opening the door, pulling out chairs, offering a drink. It's not demeaning it's respectful. When reading a relationship, the guy is +1,000% more attractive if there's a chivalry aspect.
9. DO: GENUINE COMPLIMENTS. It's somehow just so much more satisfying to read 'You're an excellent fighter; you must work hard,' than 'killing beside you is so romantic,' or 'you look cute when you fight' (can you tell I super-hate this phrase? Hehehehehe...). Or a genuine 'You're beautiful,' instead of something cheesy like 'Why are you so cute?' Cliched compliments shoved in there just for the blush don't make me go "awwww they're so cute", they make me gag and skip the section.
10. DO: SUPPORT. What I reeeally reeeeeaaaallyyyy love is when a couple is so 100% supportive of each other. Not necessarily trying to solve all their problems and make a perfect, dreamy world for them, but just standing by each other and making it clear that no matter what the downturn or misfortune or bad mood, they're not going to give up because what's important to one is important to the other.
11. DO: MUTUAL RESPECT. Personally, I'm not a fan of those lines or actions or whatever in relationships that are super disrespectful toward each other. Like they're designed to cut each other down. (Guys AND girls. I have encountered it from both sides). IT'S JUST ANNOYING, OKAY? In my opinion, it just doesn't contribute or add to a good relationship. It seems like it would be more prone to cause rifts and whatnot. So if you want tension or if someone is supposed to be a jerk, by all means have them disregard respect for the other! But keep in mind this is a negative thing. Meant for rifts not for bonds.
12. DO: NOTICING EACH OTHER'S QUIRKS. Alrighty. This one should be a given. But I think it's really cute when Person A has this little quirk/pet peeve or whatever and is surprised when Person B notices/remembers. I think it just adds a small but really nice touch when it's written well, placed well and slightly subtle.
I could put up a lot more tips, but I figured it was about time to cut this post short.
Please tell me if you agree or disagree with these points and why! I'd LOVE to hear what you have to say.
Ya'll lemme know if you're interested in a follow-up for this post cause I have several other points I can rant and squeal about if the need is great. :)
Let's Chat!
1. What are some big DO NOT'S for you writing relationships? Why or why not?
2. What are some big DO's? Why or why not?
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| Photo by Chungkuk Bae on Unsplash |
I've never had a particular affinity to writing them, and I sort of despise romance novels. Writing friendships? Oooh yeah, nailed it. Magic? Yes. Gore? HECK YES. But.....romance. Igh.
However, when I get the luxury of reading a well-written fictional romance...Let the squealing begin.
The gist is, it's not easy to nail. Not in fiction, not in film and definitely not in real life. But here are some tips that will hopefully point you on the right track.
Tips
(* do not's: 1-6, do's: 7-12*)
1. DO NOT: THE DOORMAT: It doesn't really make for a good romance. Either person being a doormat isn't necessarily 'cute' or 'sweet' or anything. It turns into something where the doormat person is a wimp who doesn't have enough guts to stand up for themselves and portrays the other person as arrogant and the whole thing is obnoxious.
2. DO NOT: SWEET NAIVE GIRL TRANSFORMS ARROGANT JERK. I'm not saying arrogant jerks can't be turned into sweet cinnamon rolls or something--but this is honestly an overused cliche that becomes ridiculously predictable. I know this one is a little overused as well, but if we're going to have someone transforming an arrogant jerk, I'd rather it be someone who is intelligent with a good sense of self worth then someone who is sickeningly sweet and naive and cries every 0.5 seconds.
3. DO NOT: THE SEX SCENE. IIiiiuuuuughhh....CANNOT EXPLAIN HOW MUCH I DESPISE THIS ONE. Really lame and really unnecessary in my opinion. Yeah, I get there are some whacks out there who like reading/writing them, but I seriously believe it does not belong in a novel, especially when the genre is not specifically romance. It also just kind of ruins the idea of this good healthy romance when it's blatantly stated out there for everyone to see.
4. DO NOT: THE KISS-ADDICT. This is the annoying type of romance where they're kissing or whatever every other scene they have together. If you're trying to develop a relationship in your fiction story, it needs to be good enough that it's still loveable even if they aren't clinging to each other constantly. IF THE RELATIONSHIP IS NOT INTERESTING WITHOUT THE KISSING, THEN IT'S JUST PLAIN UNINTERESTING.
5. DO NOT: THE PHYSICALLY INCLINED. This is when you get the sense the the couple are only drawn to each other because of physical appearance. Literally nothing else substantial except that (*ahem* Romeo and Juliet...). I mean, yeah, appearance is important and an attraction on that level is pretty necessary too. BUT THERE NEEDS TO BE SOMETHING ELSE AS WELL. I don't want to hear about some guy's abs or some girl's shoulders over and Over and OVER.
6. DO NOT: ROMANTIC DIALOGUE PROMPTS: "You look cute when you're fighting", "Can't tell if I wanna slap you or kiss you" etc. Those icky, blushy overused love lines. I see them all over the place and the more I see them the cheesier they get. If you want to nail a good, unique romance, you're gonna want the dialogue to match that. You'd be better off brainstorming the scene than picking up something from a dialogue prompt. They're just not original.
7. DO: NON-SEXUAL FORMS OF INTIMACY. I'm not anti-sex or something, but I really think there's too much pressure in fiction to shoehorn in some sort of super sexy aspect or something. Call me old-school, but I still really enjoy reading about when people hug, hold hands, give genuine compliments, touch foreheads, have long talks, play games, one accidentally falling asleep on the other's shoulder, etc. If you include all this, it'll just make the first kiss THAT MUCH more exciting.
8. DO: CHIVALRY. TRUST ME. THIS NEEDS TO COMEBACK. As far as I'm concerned, this is not a cliche. Chivalry is still important--not just in romance but just in general. Opening the door, pulling out chairs, offering a drink. It's not demeaning it's respectful. When reading a relationship, the guy is +1,000% more attractive if there's a chivalry aspect.
9. DO: GENUINE COMPLIMENTS. It's somehow just so much more satisfying to read 'You're an excellent fighter; you must work hard,' than 'killing beside you is so romantic,' or 'you look cute when you fight' (can you tell I super-hate this phrase? Hehehehehe...). Or a genuine 'You're beautiful,' instead of something cheesy like 'Why are you so cute?' Cliched compliments shoved in there just for the blush don't make me go "awwww they're so cute", they make me gag and skip the section.
10. DO: SUPPORT. What I reeeally reeeeeaaaallyyyy love is when a couple is so 100% supportive of each other. Not necessarily trying to solve all their problems and make a perfect, dreamy world for them, but just standing by each other and making it clear that no matter what the downturn or misfortune or bad mood, they're not going to give up because what's important to one is important to the other.
11. DO: MUTUAL RESPECT. Personally, I'm not a fan of those lines or actions or whatever in relationships that are super disrespectful toward each other. Like they're designed to cut each other down. (Guys AND girls. I have encountered it from both sides). IT'S JUST ANNOYING, OKAY? In my opinion, it just doesn't contribute or add to a good relationship. It seems like it would be more prone to cause rifts and whatnot. So if you want tension or if someone is supposed to be a jerk, by all means have them disregard respect for the other! But keep in mind this is a negative thing. Meant for rifts not for bonds.
12. DO: NOTICING EACH OTHER'S QUIRKS. Alrighty. This one should be a given. But I think it's really cute when Person A has this little quirk/pet peeve or whatever and is surprised when Person B notices/remembers. I think it just adds a small but really nice touch when it's written well, placed well and slightly subtle.
I could put up a lot more tips, but I figured it was about time to cut this post short.
Please tell me if you agree or disagree with these points and why! I'd LOVE to hear what you have to say.
Ya'll lemme know if you're interested in a follow-up for this post cause I have several other points I can rant and squeal about if the need is great. :)
Let's Chat!
1. What are some big DO NOT'S for you writing relationships? Why or why not?
2. What are some big DO's? Why or why not?
This entire post is amazing!!! I especially love the tips on chivalry and noticing each other’s quirks cause they’re things that people actually do and it seems genuine and good. People can even do those things when they’re platonic :) ughhhh I hate the doormat- it’s not attractive for a guy/girl to be physically / emotionally demeaning to their crush or whatever, it’s just jerky and honestly annoying to read. Thanks so much for publishing this and yes it would be awesome if you wrote more tips on romance!!
ReplyDeleteI hope this was a little useful to you! It just absolutely drives me insane when a fictional couple are CONSTANTLY putting each other down and people are like "awww it's cute,". Yk? :) Thanks!!
Deleteyeah seriously, couples who constantly put each other down do not sound....healthy. in the least. romance has never been too difficult for me, since it just sorta happens (hehe lucky me?), my problem is always the accidental love triangle XD (maybe do a post on evading love triangles? ooh! or writing terrifying villains with great motives!!)
DeleteHehe .I do love me a good villain. XD That's really cool that romance is something that comes easily to you. You ARE lucky. :D
DeleteGreat post!
ReplyDeleteYou actually covered most of the things I hate from written relationships. I honestly especially HATE the rushed romances or ones that make no sense, like "I just met you and this is crazy('cause like last chapter I hated the sight of you) but if you stand next to me I'll blush and can't stop looking at your lips, so call me baby. " I HATE THAT. Every girl is not going to feel attracted to every guy in the story. CHILL
PLEASE PLEASE DO: give me a reason to root for the relationship. Family troubles? Sure(NOT like Romeo and Juliet)! No money or way to care for person B? Sign me up! Pride or Prejudice? OH YEAH
Extra bonus points if the couple works through the problems together and supports one another.
I do agree. RUSHED ROMANCES ARE ONE OF MY TOP PET PEEVES OH MY GOSH I CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT THAT. I feel like Pride and Prejudice was a good example of the hate to love transition. I think the pacing was very well done. :)
DeleteYou have covered pretty much all of my pet peeves for romance novels. I absolutely despise couples who believe all their life revolves around is their romantic interest (cough***cough** Bella from Twilight). Also, I hate those love triangles where the girl has pretty much dated every guy and cheats on every guy in the triangle (seriously, it degrades the boys so much when she feeds into the unhealthy relationships). Not only that, the overly possessive couples ruin my taste for the dating life. I am not all that great at writing romance because I have a hard time taking things too seriously(especially relationships). And every time I try to find romance novels I tend to run into the stupid sex scenes and all which completely gross me out. Relationships should not revolve on how well each other kisses and preforms private acts.
ReplyDeleteOH RIGHT!
I completely agree with the couple works together and supports one another! And the noticing quirks and the simple, cute compliments that couples give one another. That is an ideal couple in my head.
Ugh, I agree. There are just so many stupid relationship cliches that just make my writer's hackles rise .Lol. Twilight just bewilders and infuriates me, but I'll prolly end up ranting about this, so I shut cut it short...hehe. :)
DeleteLOL! I understand completely! Once I start ranting about cliches it is hard for me to stop.
DeleteYeah! :) A cliche rant could go all day. Hehehehe .
Delete